This story came to me as a dream one night.
Its the holiday season, and I am working Christmas Eve at a department store, the Toys and Books section of a major retailer. I find myself down on my knees making order out of the chaos left behind by last minute and better late then never shoppers. My new and young family has delayed their celebration until my shift is over and I get to go home, each minute ticks by at the rate of falling leaves from early autumn trees. The book racks are a mess and I am putting them back in order, it pains me to know that Christmas Eve is passing me by.
In the quiet of the store I hear two pairs of small rustling feat and child like whispering. I quiet myself to try and gain a sense of the direction of this pair of misplaced elves that are out on the Eve of Santa Clause and presents. From around the end of the books case on my right appears a young little lady, round face and braided sandy blonde hair. She is wearing a plain and simple dress, but in a pretty Christmas Eve fashion. She turns her head to direct her call to someone behind her and hidden by the book shelf, "here he is, I found him." At which point a young little man appears from around the end of the shelf. He surveys me from head to knees, studying me up to see if his sister is correct, then nods his head in an approving motion. She faces me, takes a few steps towards me, tenderly grabs my hand that is resting on a nearby shelf, and touches it to her face. She leans her head into my hand so that her cheek is cupped in my palm. Then she smiles, it is a satisfied and relieved smile. She raises her other hand so that her two little hands encircle my palm, looks at me in confidence, then comments,"you can do it, you just have to know when the right time is to do it. But you can save us." She smiles once again, and then her and her brother run off around the end of the shelf and the sound of their feat quickly fades away.
You can save us, you just have to know when the time is right????? This moment perplexes me as I crawl into my thick down coat, ear muffs, scarf, gloves, and hand made mittens. The time has finally come and my shift is over. Its late, and its cold outside....very cold outside. The walk home is not a long one, but its not a short one either. You can save us....? My want to be home with my kids must have been drawing me into the magic of Christmas a little too much. As I zip up my coat and cover my cheeks the cold of outside tickles the few exposed parts with its prickly greeting.
The street tops are black and shiny. The parking lot is a hazard that needs to be crossed. A short distance away, down the road in the direction I am traveling, there remains a remnant of blinking lights and emergency vehicles that are the clean up crew of what appears to have been some sort of vehicular accident. I can't really put together the pieces from a distance, but it appears that a black vehicle of some kind has been torn into many small pieces. Drawing nearer to the scene I only then begin to notice the train tracks that run parallel to the road I am walking. They are on the opposite side of the street and hidden behind tall grass and guard rails. Apparently the black vehicle made an attempt at crossing the rails. The crossing is open and unguarded by mechanical barriers or warning signals.
Its Christmas Eve and unlike me, someone else was not going to be making it home for Christmas. I lower my head and mumble a prayer into the weaves of my scarf. And then the world around me goes into rewind.
I am standing still while the scene of the black vehicle and train crossing unfold before me in reverse order. It happens quickly, like watching a movie after hitting the reverse scan button. The emergency vehicles become a frenzy of activity then disappear. The black remnants of the vehicle join together and jump back up on the tracks in the form of an SUV Suburban style pickup. The beastly train engine roles backwards on its tracks heading back in the direction from where I had just been walking. The Suburban backs off the tracks and heads backwards down the road from the direction I am heading until its lights blend into the backdrop of the other vehicles out on this cold dark evening. I find myself, alone, in a quiet state of amazement as I wonder what it is I just witnessed.
I peer down the road, the headlights of the black suburban are approaching me, and the intersection that it just backed away from. In stunned disbelief, I watch as it makes the turn back up the intersection and stops at the railroad crossing. It pauses for a short moment, the train is coming, its screeching its horn. The driver of the suv has time to cross, but very little of it. They decide to try and cross and their car stalls out half way across the rails. Two adults jump out in a panic, a man and a woman. They are clamoring for the passenger doors as I hear the word,"kids!!!" exclaimed. They manage to get the doors open but the child safety seats prove to get the better of them. In a sudden flash and screeching of horn, the train consumes the scene in a blurr.
The straggling emergency vehicles and their drivers continue to clean up the scene as I come back to my senses. The cold and Christmas have really gotten to me. I continue in my trek, homeward bound.
I gingerly pick my path over the hard and frozen terrain, taking my steps cautiously not knowing what is ice and what is dry. Street lights are infrequently spaced and illuminate portions, but not all, of my trail home. Car lights approach and pass by. I have formed my own worn pathway thru the taller grasses and weeds that have overgrown or filled in the patches of missing sidewalk. Parts of this trail are disturbingly close to the road and gusts of wind toss my scarf around when cars whisk by a little to quickly. I come to a vacant lot that spans from the road on my left to the back yards of a townhouse community on my right. One of my well worn paths cuts across this lot and ends in a narrow passage between two of the humble abodes. I am partially thankful that the night has turned so cold, my normally muddy path is hardened and easy to traverse. The narrow gap at the end drops me off into a quiet and well kept neighborhood. The homes are too tightly packed together for my liking though. But at least the cars are no longer zinging by with cold wind gusts.
Down a block or two the town homes turn into real homes on lots with space in between them. A few houses down on my right a black suburban style suv is idling in a driveway. Its exhaust creates a whimsical dancing cloud of vapors while its owner is standing by the open drivers side door, bringing warmth to the outside air while cooling off the interior. The owner appears to be a man of middle age, dressed in a black hip high wool looking coat, jeans, black shoes, and very cold looking nose and ears. He glances at his watch several times, peers into the cab at the dashboard, honks the horn a couple of times, leans out from the cab and up to the lights on the second level of his home. He mutters to himself, "come on you guys." The nose of the suv is sticking out across the sidewalk and I have to dodge around it as I pass by. In only a glimpse I see the young little man sitting in the middle row right hand passenger seat. He looks bored, unaware of my presence as he stares at the cab's dome light. No sooner have I passed when I hear the sound of an opening and closing house door. "We're coming, we're coming. She had to wrap one last present for the little girl on the list." I peer back to see a motherly figure round the back end of the suv and climb into the front passenger seat. The fatherly figure lifts his daughter into the drivers side middle row and helps the little round faced cherub with braided hair secure the straps of her car seat. Dad climbs in and I catch the remnants of a comment as he closes the door preparing to drive away, "We need to stop and get some gas." And they drive away back into the direction I had just come, back in the direction of the gas station that's just down the main road and on the other side of the railroad tracks.
My footsteps stop, the rewind movie scene happens again, but this time I am drawn backwards with it. The suv backs its way into the driveway, mom steps out and walks backwards and vanishes in the dancing exhaust. I leave my path and I am drawn backwards into the house with mom and the daughter. Up the stairs we go and down the hall into a back bedroom, a master suite, mom and dad's room. The motion stops, perched on the bed are flustered mom and determined daughter. Mom is trying to help the daughter wrap up a small present in remnant newspaper pages from the Sunday comics. "This will have to do sweetheart, if we take up anymore time we won't deliver the gifts before Christmas Eve is over. The little girl will understand, she probably won't even notice." "Okay mommy, I guess. Mommy? Will we miss Christmas Eve if we don't get back home in time?" "Oh, I think Christmas has already come to our home, we just want to make sure it makes it to others....Now come on, get your coat." Honk! Honk! cuts thru the moment as mom and daughter snatch up the last gift and rush off down the hall amid flying coat arms and bustling feet.
I am left standing in the bedroom, a passive observer of this evening event. The lighted rooms at the end of the hall grow brighter as if day is dawning, but once again in reverse motion. The world is whirling around me, I sense motion and activity, but the room itself stays still. I silently walk the hallway to the top of the stairs. There is a railing and banister, the hallway opens up to allow the residents to see down onto the front room. It is a welcoming sight, and the activity around me slows to a normal pace. Below me at the foot of the stairs there is a knock at the front door. The little girl comes bounding into the room from some room off to the other side. "Wait....don't open the door without mommy or daddy around." "Ohhhhhhh" Mom opens the door to an unexpected guest, "GRANDPA!!!!!!" "Hey my little cherub. How's my angel on Christmas Eve?" The little braided angel gives grandpa a hug. Grandpa hands off the packages and bags of gifts to mom and lifts his little princess for a proper hug of affection. Mom delivers the gifts to the back living room and returns to help grandpa remove his hat, gloves, and coat. Grandpa hands off the coverings and whispers in a covert fashion,"do you have any extra wrapping paper? I didn't get all of those gifts wrapped and the stores were all out." "Sure, we have a little bit left, just enough I'm sure."
I slip down the stairs and enjoy the chance to observe this family as grandpa sneaks away to finish wrapping his gifts, mom preps the table for dinner, they enjoy their traditional Christmas dinner. During dinner the family conversation hints that this is not a typical Christmas evening for them. They are excited for some event coming later in the evening. The kids are excited about the gifts they are getting to give away, especially the little prize meant for some little unknown girl. Grandpa wishes them well, gives each a warming embrace and says his goodbyes. Not sure how this all works, I take the opportunity to step outside during grandpa's departure.
As I step outside the sky is bright and the sun sets at mid-morning. I have some errands to run. My wife has tasked me with running to the store for some eggnog, just the small carton, a simple indulgence for Christmas. Working in the toy department barely pays the bills, it doesn't pay for the holiday season. "Oh, and some cookies....for Santa Clause."
Everything in the store that has to do with Christmas is half off, even the eggnog. Feeling a little sense of good tidings, I head toward the kids section, some coloring books and crayons can't cost too much, especially at half off. As I stand in line waiting to make my purchase I spy a small stand of wrapping paper, $0.50, and I have just enough to cover it, maybe a little Christmas will come to our home after all. In the small stand is the last roll of gift wrapping, yellow with white bows, my daughters favorite. And then it happens, grandpa steps up behind me. We are both eyeing the roll that sits just out of both of our reach. He sees my eyes, the coloring books and crayons, and relinquishes his claim, the last roll of wrapping paper. This is where it hits me, "you just have to know when the time is right. But you can save us." The line moves forward, I can now grab the roll of wrapping paper. I lift it up and out of its stand, assess its value, and hand it back to the loving man. "Here you go, you are going to need this more than I ever will." He smiles and thanks me for my kindness.
I make my purchases and head back out into the cold with my unwrapped gifts and carton of eggnog. The brown bag I carry them home in will have to be sufficient for gift wrapping this year. I don't get to see it happen, but I already know how this one decision plays out in the rest of the story. Grandpa heads off into his day and wraps all of the gifts he has purchased. He no longer needs to borrow the last remaining wrapping when he drops by for dinner. The little girl now has plenty to wrap the last gift in and no longer struggles over using the Sunday comics. The SUV leaves on time and doesn't sit idling, using up the last few precious vapors waiting for mom and daughter. The vehicle full of an anxious family runs over the tracks with no train even in sight and stops off at the local pumps with petrol to spare. And they head off into the late evening with no unexpected events. And my daughter gets a coloring book and some crayons, wrapped in the grocery bag from the local store.
As I head back home with my purchases the sun begins to drop, evening and then night come quickly. The air grows bitingly cold and my bare hands seek the shelter of my pockets. It is then that I realize my carton of eggnog is gone and my hands are covered with my walking home from work gloves. It is the late evening again and I am passing the railroad crossing once again. As predicted, there are no signs of an accident. I cross the vacant lot and thru the narrow passage. Down the road to where townhouses become real houses. The driveway of the home I had visited is empty, all lights are out inside. They are already on their way to their destination. A few more blocks and turns down darker and darker streets I draw near to my home. The lights are on and two little faces peak thru the curtains.
I open the door and enter into the warmth of home and loving little arms. As I am removing my layers of protection from the cold, the window draperies become illuminated by the headlights of a large vehicle pulling into our empty driveway. My wife smiles with bridled excitement. There is a knock at our door, and the sound of little excited voices chatter from just outside. My wife composes herself as she prepares to accept guests into our little home. She opens the door and there in the entry way stands the family I visited earlier, mom, dad, little boy, and little girl with braided hair and simple dress but in that pretty Christmas way. They are smiling, "Hi...um...your neighbor signed you guys up for our church's Give a Gift Christmas program. Um...we called earlier but your wife...hi...said you didn't get home till later tonight. So...um...here we are....we have a load of gifts for you...and...uh...some special ones we got just for...um...the card said two little kids, a boy and a....there they are...a...um....girl. Anyhow, Merry Christmas!!!" "Come in, come in" my wife gestures as she invites this family in. Dad heads back to the car and makes several trips to deliver enough gifts to fill our front room. The little girl pulls a little treasure from within the folds of her coat, a little gift wrapped in yellow wrapping paper with white bows, and lovingly hands it to my daughter.
